“How to Pick Your Life Partner, Part 2” written by Tim Urban for his blog, “Wait but Why”, from 2014 still resonates with me today. It’s one of my favorite posts. I revisit it from time to time.

He writes about how “a great achievement is just what a long series of unremarkable tasks looks like from far away” and compares that with happiness, “that achieving life happiness was all about learning to be happy on a routine Wednesday.” He applies that idea to marriage: “from afar, a great marriage is a sweeping love story, […but] marriage is a forgettable Wednesday. Together.”

He continues to write: “to endure 20,000 days with another human being and do so happily, there are three key ingredients necessary:

1. An epic friendship
2. A feeling of home
3. A determination to be good at marriage.”

Most of the people in my life have already picked their life partners. Many of friends, colleagues, and extended family members are in long-term partnerships or married with children. While I sometimes I get tempted to emulate what they’ve created, I also remind myself to start my own model of long-term partnership and marriage. Having read a lot of material on the topic, I can say, I do aspire to have an epic friendship, create a shared feeling of home, and continued determination to be good at marriage and be a great partner.